Dare to Speak is a private, supportive community for people at any stage of separation, divorce or break-up, as well as the people supporting them.

This includes people considering separation, currently separating, navigating divorce, rebuilding after a relationship ends, or co-parenting young or adult children.

These guidelines are here to help everyone feel safe, respected and able to participate in their own way.

1. Who is welcome

Membership is open to adults aged 18 or over.

Dare to Speak welcomes:

- people experiencing separation, divorce or break-up;

- people living together while navigating the end of a relationship;

- parents co-parenting young or adult children;

- grandparents, carers, relatives and friends supporting someone through separation or divorce;

- people of every gender and sexual orientation; and

- neurodivergent members and those navigating the added complexities neurodivergence can bring to relationships, communication and family life.

You do not need to be married, getting divorced or involved in court proceedings to join.

2. Protect everyone’s privacy

What members share inside Dare to Speak must remain inside the community.

Please:

- do not take or share screenshots;

- do not copy, record or distribute another member’s contribution;

- do not reveal another member’s identity or personal circumstances;

- do not quote another member outside the community without their clear permission; and

- share only information that is yours to share.

Take particular care when discussing children, former partners, court proceedings or other identifiable people.

Every member is expected to respect confidentiality. No online community can guarantee that every individual will always comply, so consider carefully how much identifying information you share.

3. Using a pseudonym

You may use a pseudonym as your visible community name.

You will still need to provide accurate information when creating and paying for your account. This information will be held securely outside the visible community and will not be displayed to other members.

A pseudonym must not be used to impersonate another person, mislead members or avoid responsibility for your conduct.

4. Speak with care

Many members will arrive feeling anxious, exhausted, angry, heartbroken or overwhelmed. Please communicate with care.

You may disagree with an idea without attacking the person expressing it.

Do not:

- harass, threaten, shame or intimidate another member;

- use discriminatory, hateful or sexually explicit language;

- make personal attacks;

- deliberately inflame conflict;

- diagnose another person;

- present assumptions as facts; or

- pressure someone to follow your advice.

Listen with curiosity. Share what helped you without assuming that another person’s circumstances are the same as yours.

5. Share experience, not professional advice

Members are welcome to share their experiences, reflections and practical suggestions.

Personal experience must not be presented as legal, medical, financial or therapeutic advice. Do not encourage another member to disregard a court order, professional advice, safety planning or the law.

The information shared by Eve, guest contributors and other members is general. Members remain responsible for their own decisions and should seek advice from an appropriately qualified professional when needed.

6. Participate in your own way

You do not have to speak, post or attend live sessions.

You may read, listen and learn until you feel ready to participate. You may keep your camera off during live sessions or watch the recording later.

Founding members are asked to leave a first question or comment. If you would prefer not to post it yourself, you may email it to [email protected]. Eve can respond privately or post it in the community without identifying you.

7. Live sessions are recorded

Every community live session will be recorded and posted within the community.

If you speak, appear on camera or contribute through the chat, your display name, voice, image or contribution may be included in the recording.

You may:

- keep your camera switched off;

- avoid using your full name;

- contribute carefully through the chat;

- listen without speaking; or

- watch the recording instead of attending live.

Please contact Eve promptly if you have a concern about something included in a recording.

8. Children and family information

Children’s wellbeing is central to many conversations within Dare to Speak.

Do not post:

- a child’s full name, address, school or contact details;

- photographs or recordings that identify a child without appropriate permission;

- confidential documents concerning a child;

- information that could place a child at risk; or

- material that you have been ordered by a court not to disclose.

This applies to young children and adult children. Even when children are adults, their privacy and personal experiences should be treated with care.

9. Safety and urgent support

Dare to Speak provides coaching, education, information and peer support. It is not an emergency, crisis or safeguarding service and is not monitored continuously.

If you believe that you or another person is in immediate danger, contact the emergency services or an appropriate crisis or safeguarding service.

Where Eve or an authorised moderator reasonably believes that someone may be at serious risk, information may be shared with an appropriate authority or professional where necessary to protect that person or comply with the law.

10. Private messages and unwanted contact

Private messages should be respectful and welcome.

Do not:

- repeatedly contact someone who has not responded;

- send sexual, threatening or abusive messages;

- pressure another member to share personal information;

- add members to mailing lists without permission;

- recruit members into another group or service; or

- use information from the community to contact someone elsewhere without their agreement.

If another member’s contact makes you uncomfortable, stop responding and report it privately to Eve.

11. No advertising or selling

Dare to Speak is not a place for unsolicited advertising, selling, recruitment or fundraising.

A relevant service or resource may be mentioned when it directly answers a member’s question and is shared in good faith. Any personal, professional or financial connection must be disclosed clearly.

Members participating in the referral reward must tell the person they are recommending Dare to Speak to that they may receive a £20 Amazon gift card if the referral qualifies.

12. Monthly Community Contribution Award

Each month, Eve will recognise one member whose contribution has most positively supported the community.

Contributions will be considered for their:

- thoughtfulness;

- relevance;

- respect for others; and

- practical value to the community.

The number of posts made will not increase a member’s prospect of receiving the award. The recipient will be selected by Eve using these criteria. There is no random draw or selection by chance.

Full details of the award appear in the Membership Terms and Conditions.

13. Moderation

Eve and authorised moderators may:

- move, edit, hide or remove content;

- ask a member to change their behaviour;

- restrict access to particular features;

- pause or suspend an account; or

- remove a member from the community.

Moderation will take account of the seriousness, context and impact of the behaviour. Serious safety concerns, unlawful activity or repeated breaches may lead to immediate removal.

Concerns about a post, message or member should be sent privately to [email protected] rather than debated publicly.

14. Before you post

Pause for a moment and ask:

- Is this mine to share?

- Does it protect everyone’s privacy?

- Is it respectful?

- Is it based on my experience rather than assumptions?

Could it help rather than escalate the situation?

If you are unsure, pause and ask Eve.

By joining and participating in Dare to Speak, you agree to follow these Community Guidelines, the Membership Terms and Conditions and the Community Privacy Policy.